Saturday, November 9, 2013

The Importance of Honesty

Honesty according to Webster's dictionary has been defined as "the quality of being fair and truthful : the quality of being honest:. It has been my experience that people often view honesty as being relative to both who they are dealing with and the situation. "Little white lies", although often not life-altering, are still lies. Who enjoys being lied to? It is hard to say, but we do. When someone could tell us the 100% truth, but they spare our feelings, do we not enjoy the beautiful lie? When I had my children, I struggled with the feeling of despair of not having the body I once had. My family would tell me "AndrĂ©a, you look just fine" when I knew I looked a mess. I would starve myself and work out tirelessly to fit the misguided lie of not looking the part of a woman who had just given birth to an 8 pound baby. As I have matured, I have had experiences where lies have cut me so deeply that I did not know if I could go on. I had some of the people closest to me betray me. I have had people around me know the reality of what was going on but not even have the decency to tell me. The truth of the situation has brought me to a place of distrust and an inability to believe people 100%. It is sad really, living with the thought that no one will tell me the whole truth. And I still do not see myself as a victim. This is no pity party. I am simply shedding some light on this issue. It was said that the lie was told "to save me from hurt". But, in the end, it was a counterproductive and cowardice move. How could you possibly love me like you claimed and lie to me so easily? And how could you continue to lie for so long? No I am not 100% honest at all times-I do not think anyone is. But, when telling a lie could potentially change the course of someone's life--I am inclined to tell the truth, no matter how difficult and I would hope someone would treat me the same way. I have an uncanny ability of deduction of situation. I will analyze a situation and come to know how things occurred. I should have been a detective. There have been things that have happened that I figured out through my ability to calculate and put "2 & 2 together". It is because of this ability that I have found out so much about people in general. This has been a source of confusion as well as pain. One thing I have come to find is that with time, pain is not as heart wrenching and unbearable as it was when it initially occurs. I liken the experience of this type of pain to a cut, at first the cut burns and aches, after a week or two, the sting begins to dull. It is better to hurt a little now, than be ripped to shreds later. Be real. Be honest. Show empathy. What if it were you?

Peace & Blessings,
Andre'a